


Heart String Theory

by Paintthebrain



Series: Heart String Theory [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate History, Chaos Theory, Clexa, Don't worry the science is superfluffy too., Eventual Smooty Smoot, F/F, Game of Thrones-esque, Happy Ending to Series, History, One True Pairing, Physics, Romance, SCIENCE!, Smoot is how I say smut, Soulmates, Superfluff, Theory of Everything, This ship is the only one I want to sail, True Love, mega angst, string theory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:41:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5109770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paintthebrain/pseuds/Paintthebrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke and Lexa have chemistry. Literally. They are essentially chemical instruments of the universe, destined to meet each other over and over again. It's a three part series told partly by an omnipresent character called The Keeper. He details how the two souls are reincarnated, meet each other, and change the course of the world for better or worse. This installment takes place in medieval Scotland.  It's a superfluff anthology about theoretical physics, scientific speculation on soulmates, and sexy adventure time featuring our beloved Clexa. </p><p> <br/>CHAPTER 5 IS AN UPDATE ABOUT THE DIRECTION OF THIS FIC</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Keeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heart is a system. When it feels love, joy, sadness, loneliness, it is reacting to it surroundings. The soul is speaking. The heart – its mouth piece. Palpitations, reverberations of heart strings. It is measured and studied and given colloquialisms for the response. The system can be anything. But what if the system in question is the entire universe, then how do you define the surrounding? String theory. So if these souls speak to the universe? Heart string theory.

I am God. And this is my word. Well, sort of.

Scotland, Earth 1165 A.D.

She stood there. Waiting for the firefly to come back down out of the darkening sky. Blue eyes turned to the air above; she believed that if she willed it to, this beautiful luminescent creature would return to her. Because she willed it. Because she believed it. As the sun slipped behind the jade hills forcing the cerulean sky to succumb to a deep shade of purple, the petulant insect floated lazily above her. The capricious organism would drop suddenly, dipping low enough to cause her to stretch her arms upward, but it would instantly loft skyward again.

It remained high above, flickering, meshing with the immerging stars. There were other fireflies nearby, lighting up, signaling their maturation, but she believed this cavalier creature, however tempestuous, was meant to be hers. She was meant to hold it for a minute or two. She would admire it then return it to whatever fate awaited it. But right now this firefly and this girl were meant to cross paths. She believed it.

I must meet you. She thought. Almost as if hearing her plea the firefly descended at once. Again she reached out her arms. Felt it in her fingertips. 20 feet. She could feel the connection, the electricity. 10 feet. She had been right about their destiny. 5 feet. Her whole body prepared for the victory. Gone.

A mahogany whirl devours her kismet. A bat. It had swooped in and took what was meant to be hers. She follows the bat with her gaze. The wonder that was just in her eyes is now replaced by only contempt. She watches the parsimonious animal as it bobs and weaves its way through the air until it disappears between a gap in two ashlar stones covering the castle wall.

She stood there. Waiting to see the fiend that took what it wanted with no reason but that it was better equipped than her to get it. The organism emerged aloof and flew quickly off into the burgeoning twilight. Not even bothering to notice that this young girl was seething at it. That this girl blamed this bat. That this girl was disgusted by its greed. That this girl could not see the soft beams of a firefly lighting up the back of her rough-spun tunic.

It is human condition to want to believe in something. They were made that way. To believe. Have faith. In me. In each other. Science. Gravity. To have absolute belief without absolute truth. Convictions. Integrity. To champion their quests – no matter how disproportionate it may make the earth.

But I am not actually God. I created nothing. I am a witness. I am The Keeper. I was never given this name, but I know it to be truth. I am the keeper of the balance. I am the keeper of champions. The champion souls.

I know the earth in all of its amalgamations and epochs. I have witnessed beasts come to the earth and disappear. Life for life. Death for death. Stagnation and progress. The only constant has been flux: chaos and then balance.

It is human condition to believe in something. Love, soul mates, coincidences, a reason for everything. But the only real thing worth believing in is balance. There have only ever been two soul mates on earth. They have had many names, but always a similar vessel. Instruments of the universe. The champion souls. My purpose on earth is not to create and destroy, but to simply witness the balance. And aid the champion souls in their accidental pursuit of progress.

 

Scotland 1173 A.D.

Seren

Her golden locks streak through the forest, whipping the back of her neck as she presses onward. This is what Seren lives for – the hunt. Her footfalls are soft and even. Her breaths, deep and purposeful. She never misses a beat, keeping a steady pace with her prey. An obstacle looms in her path- a decaying tree strewn across the forest floor, but not once does it occur to her that she will not be able to overcome it. She subconsciously thrusts her heel upward and catches the only steady foothold left on the cracked and decaying remnants of the once towering timber.

She was made for this. She feels whole in this moment. Every part of her is tuned to the pursuit. Her momentum propels her up and over. In one motion, she descends from the log while simultaneously pulling an arrow from her quiver. A few more steps and the once majestic creature is now simply meat and leather. It will be harvested for her family. Harvested for energy. Harvested for the coming rebellion.

She says a silent prayer to this animal that has given its life. “Your sacrifice is necessary. Your sacrifice is remembered.” It’s become a hymn to her. Something she says over and over in a tune. So mundane yet so profound. So much a part of her. Like breathing. She is so enthralled in her moment of gratitude that she barely registers the fervor of feathers escaping from the underbrush. And then she senses it. The second presence.

 

Leda

The movement catches Leda’s eye. A flash of sunlight perhaps. No. Blonde hair crowning a swiftly moving brown blur – a tightly wound rough spun tunic with hunting leather. The deer’s raucous crashing through the woods first gained her attention, but now its pursuer holds her curiosity. The warrior is swift and purposeful. Leda snatches her breath back in. Watching intently. This must be one of the natives her Breton brethren warned her of.

Placing one gloved hand on mossy bark, she leans forward into a tree trunk - blending in with shadows of the forest. She watches in awe as the huntress makes an elegant movement over a felled tree and the large animal falls to the ground swiftly after. The blonde stares at her victim for a few moments. Leda can hear a soft song coming from the lips of her subject as she bends down. Leda sees it then. A blue lion is emblazoned on her back. Leda gasps and a soft exhalation reveals her recognition. “Seren Leolin” escapes from Leda’s mouth with a thick lilt common to her people. The Breton spy cannot believe her luck. She begins to do a small, quiet celebration when her hand slips on the bark propelling her forward into the brush. An explosion of frightened pheasants to her right nearly causes her heart to thump out of her chest.

 

Seren

She instinctively crouches down making herself nearly invisible. Her deep blue eyes scan the underbrush for danger or perhaps another target. Danger. Possible danger. But she is confident that she can defend herself. She pauses there taking in her surroundings finally exhaling when she sees a small stab of red on brown. Bright red. Not blood red. That means human and not animal. She notches and draws her bow. She pushes a growl out, “I know you are there.”

The red disappears. And then Seren sees why. Her eyes start to make sense of the forest floor in front of her. A new shape begins to emerge as she finally distinguishes the brown jerkin from its surroundings. Then the fist and the arm attached. It is a female form. Not taking any chances she keeps her bow drawn and presses forward menacingly.

Leda

The forest is still except for Leda's eyes. They dart to the fluid red material that had dislodged itself from beneath her leather armor and is currently blazing like a bonfire on the forest floor. Her father's heraldry. She knows it was stupid to bring something that could give away her identity. She is an enemy in this land afterall, but she wasn't thinking of that when she stole it. She just wanted a piece of him to carry with her. Cursing herself, she silently slides her hand over the beacon and slowly, methodically begins to crunch the material into her fist until it is no longer visible. It is too late though. The woman before her harshly declares that she knows Leda is there.

Leda deftly stores the swatch of cloth back into the folds of her backpack and raises her arms up to show a lack of usable weapons. "I mean no harm. I am lost." The blonde woman presses toward her like a predator. Leda can only see the arrowhead, but as the other figure approaches it begins to fade into the background and dissolve out of focus. “Who are you,” she asks authoritatively, still pointing her bow at Leda. The figure is close enough to see the stitches in her clothing, but Leda is prepared for this. She has practiced the lies she has to tell.

When Leda finally makes sense of her confronter’s facial features, she feels a current race through her body. The huntress before her is the most beautiful creature she has ever seen.

She feels almost sick.

As if a wash of poison and antidote have come into her system all at once.

Leda cannot speak.

Leda cannot breathe.

 

She cannot move.

 

The only thing she is aware of is everything. Every part of her body is forcing her attention.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

[Click here to tumble](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/paintthebrain) with me.  [Click here for a behind the scenes](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hstpaintthebrain) look at the making of this fic and supplemental information. Come speculate about science and soulmates with me. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it!
> 
> In case if you haven't figure it out:
> 
> The soul that will eventually belong to Clarke is currently in the "vessel" known as Seren (it means Star in Gaelic). And the Lexa soul is in Leda's body (Lexa and Heda portmanteau and her fake name means woods in ancient Greek I believe).  
> I originally thought that I wanted to put their souls into different looking bodies, but then I realized who doesn't want to think about Eliza Taylor and Alycia Debnam Carey as every character ever? No one.
> 
> Please feel free to let me know what you think. I thrive on constructive criticism. I'm very dedicated to continuity, so if you see any thing that doesn't match up with the lore please bring it to my attention. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter.


	2. Systems and Surroundings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> System - In chemistry more specifically thermodynamics, it is the studied or observed reaction of parts within a whole. 
> 
> Surroundings - The environment in which the system exists. This can include the entirety of the universe, but cannot be a part of the system itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos or comments on the last chapter! I appreciate you taking the time to read this.
> 
>    
> Here comes the chemistry. :) Science and otherwise.

The Keeper

 

 There is nothing quite like when the champion souls meet. When they first exchange parts of themselves with the other. Connecting once more. There is a hush that comes over the world. It speaks of memory and turmoil and destiny. Something that is and yet to be. To those in tune with it, it is a sudden peace. Calm. Balance.

 I remember the first time I felt that peace. It was as if the world finally sighed after eons of holding its breath. I was not fully aware that was what had happened. I wasn’t quite aware of anything just yet. Not sentient. I was fighting to become. To just be. But when they met again. I was there then.

 In chemistry, there is a concept known as systems and surroundings. The system can be anything. But the surrounding includes everything except the system as long as the two can interact. Before the combined forces of the champions finally came to fruition there were no systems. Just surroundings. Just chaos.

 The first time the champion souls joined their analogous energies there had been nearly a billion years of chaos here on earth. No figure. No form. Just a writhing mass of squiggly lines and grey areas. Nothing moving forward. Predictable in its unpredictability. Stagnation. But then I felt that first peace. That first sigh. And earth finally stopped convulsing erratically and found a rhythm. Spread out its full possibility across the entire surface. And the first signs of life on earth appeared. Something to react to the surroundings – a system.

 The second time it happened, I was nothing more than a collection of quarks. Listless, but growing. Not quite sentient, but not unconscious either. The earth had seen billions and billions of generations of bacteria come and go. They remained largely unchanged except for a few adaptations like chloryphyll. Stunted. The earth’s systems had stopped evolving. And the progress the world once made was now creating the same results. Unable to climb out of a repetition of a similar organism until a singular moment when one molecule found another and then another in exactly the right combination.

 It was like watching a wick become a flame and that flame illuminating the world. And then the peace came over me. Me. I had evolved too. Still not corporeal, but I was aware. I witnessed the connection. The renewal of their system.

 Approximately 300 years later, by my calculations, what is now known as the Cambrian explosion began. Multi-cellular creatures thriving in a primitive world. Organisms diversified. Found their niches. There was progress once more.

 I had been chaos too. I was crimson and chartreuse. Translucent and never ending. I was a silent cacophony. No one was around to hear the world fight itself to be whole. Sometimes the system is ill-formed to it surroundings. But when these two conglomerations began interacting, I stopped being a part of the surrounding and started being part of the system. Purpose.

 For me, the exchange of their energies, when the first atom attracts the other, it is soothing. I feel the same sense of serenity I felt the very first time they connected, but for them it is a completely different experience. Jarring. Unnerving.

 

Leda

 

“Who are you?” The looming figure pointedly asked her for the second time. Leda is still assembled haphazardly on the forest floor. Arms still half raised. This is not fear of discovery. Fear of execution. This is Leda inundated with a thousand thoughts and memories. Images fighting their way to the forefront her mind. Screaming to me seen. They feel like memories – like memories of someone else’s dream. She can do nothing but trace her eyes up the lines in the bark of the ash tree in front of her. Observing the dividing nature of each limb from its base and each branch from its limb. Her eyes dart from each detail to the next, searching for an answer. _Think. You know this. You are prepared._ But her body shrieks. _Feel. Feel this. Feel all of this._

 

“I said WHO ARE YOU?” The aggressor is demanding an answer. Standing barely 3 paces away. Leda scours the images and sensations she is feeling for any resemblance of information she can confide in this stranger. Her tongue is thick. _Leda Curtmantle. My father is your father’s enemy._ But of course she cannot say that here. Her adversary would shoot her where she sat spread eagle on the damp leaves. She cannot focus. She feels weak. She is fighting her whole system – the body she has lived in her whole life is betraying her. Then an entirely new phenomenon settles over her. Something she has only heard described by survivors of peril. Panic. Just the edge of panic. Leda does not panic. She never panics. This thought allows her to steel herself momentarily. _You have a mission. You know why you are here. Your goal. Your quest. Your father’s quest._

“A traveler,” She manages, far more hoarsely than she intended, but hopes this singular piece of information will buy her some time until she can lift the fog from her thoughts. Leda’s breathing is ragged and disproportionate. The figure in front of her lowers her bow just a bit. Just enough to make a slight tilt of her head. The woman’s blonde locks lightly swaying with the motion. “Your name?” She asks lifting the bow back up to it original position.

 

Leda is struggling to fight the fever that is permeating her body. She does her best to sift through her last day with her father. They met with the high council to discuss her mission. They devised a story in case anyone questioned her. They made her recite it over and over again. Nearly a dozen times until she sounded like she was speaking from memory instead of telling a story. They fine tuned the details. She was the daughter of woman at the king’s court. But her father was some mysterious Grecian sailor. She was a bastard. An outcast. Merely tolerated at court. _Easy enough to remember._ _It’s not too far from the truth. You can do this._

Just as she found some semblance of herself, a spray of leaves came up from beneath her, spattering her face with the decaying foliage and earth. The stranger's voice booming words she cannot quite make out. She looks down to see the shaft jutting from the ground just inches from her leg. Leda blurts out the first Greek word she can think of.

 

 

Seren

 

“I mean no harm. I am lost.” Seren hears the other call out as she approaches her target.

 

_She’s striking. There’s something about her._

She can tell the woman’s eyes are flitting around the canopy above them. The stranger appears to be shape shifting in front of her. Looking for a thought to grab hold of. Either she is more terrified by their predicament than Seren originally thought or this outsider is hiding something and trying to find the right lie.

 

Seren does not mind that the foreigner is distracted. It gives her a chance to examine her. Determine if she is a threat. The woman is wearing a well-stitched woolen tunic with a full skirt from hip to ankle,a beautiful shade of olive. The sleeves fit tightly to the elbow and then flare all the way to the wrist where they end in an embellished gold and blue trim. Her torso is protected by a nearly pristine leather jerkin. The laces up the front of her chest are hanging loose, revealing a sharp collar bone quickly rising and falling with each laboring breath. She appears fit and well-kept. Probably not a threat except for a single utilitarian blade tucked into her knee-high boots. Just some lord’s daughter on an adventure. But. Seren takes in every detail about the other and she starts to feel peculiar.

 

Seren is used to her body thrumming after a hunt. She is used to feeling flooded by a sensation of totality and purpose. But this. This is something else entirely.

 

“I said WHO ARE YOU?” Seren throws her stirring emotions into her words and it comes out as powerful. Dominating. The outsider disappears again. Into her own thoughts. “A traveler.” The brunette’s voice is gravelly, accidentally projecting her internal melee outwardly.

 

Genuinely curious now, Seren cocks her head to the side as if this new angle will allow her to observe some concealed detail. An answer.

 

But when Seren finally looks directly into the trespasser’s eyes and sees only emerald with russet accents reflected back at her, the stranger suddenly feels all too familiar. As familiar as these woods that she has hunted with her father and his men since she could balance herself on her two tiny feet. She is stupefied by the sensation clutching her. Her usually finely-tuned, liquid muscles feel bulky and cumbersome. Awkward. Her vision comes in patches and convolutions. She struggles to keep her bow drawn.

 

A charge whips through her. She suddenly feels like she is home and lost. She is here and gone all at the same time. She simultaneously feels a tightening and a release. Dull and sharp. She registers the resonance of a thick tremor in her arm. Seren is drawn back from her stupor because she recognizes her bow is not. Not drawn back. Her jaw loosens just a bit as she sees the trembling cord. Vibrating at the same frequency she had been moments ago. Seren starts to fill with dread when she follows the projected flight path, but recovers her usually unflappable demeanor when she sees the arrow had hit harmlessly in front of the accidental target.

 

Seren has never been one to have the wrong answer. She always seems to know what to do. Her father’s people accept her opinions as fact. She sighs. But recovers from her mistake. "I grow wary of the delay! TELL ME YOUR NAME!” Hoping the quaver in her voice goes unnoticed. The other woman cannot get the other words out fast enough...

 

“Melia. My name is Melia!”

 

_That’s a lie._

 

Seren struts to stand in front of this Melia. And confidently pulls the arrow out of the dirt. She takes a deep breath. Squaring up. Intimidating. “You are trespassing.”

 

Leda

 

Her purpose here is finite. One mission. Observe or assimilate. But the assailant’s self-assured posture pushes her over the edge. At once the, the dumbfounded sensation is channeled into a singular, omnipresent rage. She had been treated only with distrust and contempt from the moment she fell head long into the shrubbery. She had been questioned and shot at. And she felt so weird. So so weird.

 

Leda scrambles to her feet and puts one foot forward, fists clenched, “I _told_ you I was lost.” She is seething now. “Tell me who _you_ are.” And puts a sharp finger into the hunter’s sternum. Takes another step. “And perhaps why you mean to harm me for the mere crime of being clumsy?”

 

The other woman lets loose an acerbic guffaw. The entirety of the immediate vicinity echoes with it. The fauna rise up once more from there new found sanctuary. The forest is alive with flight and laughter.

 

“You’re right.” She says heartily. A smile still lingering on her lips, “My name is Seren.” And extends a hand. Leda pauses and then takes it cautiously. When their grip is cemented, Leda takes in a sharp breath. And the sensation is apon her again. Her heart feels like a thousand fires burning. A hundred million sunrises. Every star that has ever been. Limitless.

 

Leda looks down at their hands separating. She feels cold and heavy, but returns her eyes to Seren’s grin and she feels warm again. Comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. An uneasy, but genuine smile threatens to splinter across her own lips.

 

“Come on,” Seren says. “I’ll take you back to the castle. You can figure out what to do from there.” Leda nods silently in agreement.

 

A glint grows in Seren’s eyes. “But first…well…do you think…” And shifts her body to quickly galnce at the forest behind her and back to her accidental travel companion. “You might as well make yourself useful and help me with the deer.” Her eyebrows peaked with inquiry.

 

This time it is Leda laughter that erupts and fills the trees surrounding them.

 

 

The Keeper

 

There is always a learning curve when two systems collide. Always a congealing. A process.

 Each quark looking for its long lost other.


	3. Quantum Entanglement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quantum Entanglement - A physical phenomenon that occurs when pairs or groups of subatomic particles interact in such ways that the quantum state of each particle cannot be described independently. An entangled system's characteristics cannot be factored from the products of the individual particles. The quantum state of an entangled system is exactly the same as the system as a whole. So, basically a physicist's explanation for "You are what you eat".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on the keeper's direct perspective will be done in bold.

The Keeper

**To understand their unique cooperative systems you must understand what they are not. They are not joined at the molecular level. Or even the atomic level. They are joined at the tiniest fathomable speck of the universe. Each of those miniscule fragments is inextricably linked to one in the other system. When it whips left, its twin whips right. If a single quark shrinks, then its clone engorges. Even if they are on opposite sides on the universe. One cannot survive without the other. One cannot be described without the other. They continue existing, mirrioring each other. On and on until they are reunited.**

Seren

Seren studies her new companion. She is crouching at the edge of the deer and surveying it with wonder and curious green eyes. The contours of her face are twisted into a paradoxical cross between wonder and mild revulsion.

 

“What’s the matter?” Seren asks playfully. A tiny smile reveals she already knows the answer. “Never seen a deer before?”

 

This girl, Melia, casts a glare in her direction and plaintively says “Yes. I have…” A trivial breath “It’s just….they’re usually already cooked. And they smell slightly more delicious. This just smells like blood and earth.”

 

Seren releases a patronizing chortle as she watches Melia shiver and then shake her hands violently in the air. “This is vile. And yet.” Her hands making a flapping sound as they rotate through the space between them, “It is also captivating.”

 

Seren objects, “Captivating? Vile? Perhaps, but definitely necessary.” She is entirely too amused with this woman who had obviously lived a somewhat delicate life style until this moment. “Which reminds me. Here. Give me that.” And she snatches one of Melia’s hands out of the air in mid revolution.

 

 _Her touch. My touch to her._ She places Melia’s hand on top of where the animal’s heart dwelled inches below the sinew and covers it with her own. “I need to finish this.”

 

“Your sacrifice is necessary. Your sacrifice is remembered.” The other woman opens her mouth, but Seren silences her by pressing their hands more firmly into the animal and repeats her mantra. She let the song slide softly from her lips.

 

Seren’s silvery voice is resplendent with appreciation. Her people’s traditions demand gratitude for what is given to them. But to Seren it is more than just paying respect for the sacrifice. When she does this, when she thanks whatever or whoever for blessing her with another meal for herself, her family, and her people, she feels like she is communing with the universe. Admitting to herself that she is just a tiny speck in the fabric of it all.

 

As the tune continues to weaves its way through the forest, Seren recognizes that something is different this time. She is different. A new robust sensation. She feels as though the universe is communing with _her_. It is the speck. And she is the infinity. It is speaking its secrets to her.

 

She looks at the other woman’s hand and then into her eyes, silent and expressive, and feels an entirely different hum than the one coming from her own lips.

 

This woman has an effect on her. It is mildly unnerving.

 

Seren’s chest tightens slightly and she releases the other woman’s hand from beneath her’s. She fights for an ambiguous affect. A steely inflection. “Come on we better get going. It’s nearly a half day’s walk from here to the castle.”

 

The beautiful stranger nods, a lightly irreverent look dancing through the forest in her eyes. Seren passes her some rope and begins to show her how to tie the legs together.

 

Seren tries to ignore the connection as they weave the cord around the ankles. As they search for a branch large enough to support the weight of the deer, she thinks on the almost instant fondness she has for this other woman. Yes, it is unsettling. She has known her mere moments. Seren knows the brunette is hiding something, but she also knows that something larger is at play here than just two strangers and a chance meeting. The universe. Speaking its secrets. Seren has been taught never to take coincidences for granted. Because coincidences are simply stories that have yet to be told from all sides.

 

Seren continues to coax the other woman through their preparations. Still with the same tiny knowing smile on her lips. A permanent brand now. Melia makes mistakes and it is obvious she had never done this before, but most of the time she just seemed to know what Seren wanted from her and complied evenly.

 

Leda

The pace is slow going. They had been walking for hours. A distorted stumbling kind of walk. Her thoughts turn back to the ceremony that Seren had prompted. The gratitude she had portrayed for the things she was given left a small sore spot beneath Leda’s breast plate. The kindness she showed to the animal that had given its life so she might go on was a stark contrast of the greed and gluttony in her homeland. She felt a sharp pain for her father. He was a part of that. _No. We need these people._

 

Leda stares at her companion. Her back is to her and Leda can’t help but notice her strong gait, the way she is making up for Leda’s lack of grace. She remembers the sound of Seren’s voice during the ritual, the gentle, but assertive touch of hands, and the sore sport in her chest is replaced with warmth. Knowing. Connection. Lost in thought Leda misplaces her foot on the uneven ground.

 

She trips, but maintains her balance. However, the branch used to hoist the deer slips from its perch on Leda’s shoulder. Her half of the burden crashes violently in to the dirt causing the entire load to pull Seren backward on to her rear. “This ground is impossible to walk on!” Leda says half in exasperation and half in frustration because Leda is getting tired of having her emotions fly out of her recently. She had laughed. She had felt anger and expressed it. This cannot keep happening. But Seren. Seren is the variable here. She is the only person to ever had seen any display of any kind of emotion. She resolves to never let her know that.

 

Seren grunts and looks up at Melia. Disgruntled. Blue eyes ringing with irritation. And something else. Warmth? Kindness? She cannot be sure. Leda slowly puts her hands up defensively and says, “You asked for my help.” Calm and aloof, once more.

 

“I could do this faster myself. Are you doing this on purpose? Are you still punishing me for the warning shot? Or can you really just not walk?” The blonde asks in mock anger.

 

With a facetious, belittling flick of the lips, Leda resumes her mask. “I have walked many times before. My whole life even. But I’ve never traversed such contradictory terrain with a carcass encumbering my shoulder before.” The ground was soft and muddy as well as rocky and hard.

 

The huntress sighs deeply and pushes herself up from the mud and brushes off her back side. She stands to face Leda while she picks debris off the front of her tunic. A briar stem has taken up residence across her chest and is proving relatively stubborn to remove. “So what kind of terrain are used to then?” Before Leda can answer, the other woman asserts her clandestine knowledge. “The landscape here is not much different from the south where I am assuming you are from.” Leda’s eyes widen. _Bullocks. Did she see my father’s heraldry after all?_ Sensing Leda’s uncertainty, the blonde settles it with a simple chuckle and “Your accent. It’s from the southern kingdom.”

 

Leda swallows hard. Without thinking she pushes closer to Seren and removes the briar the woman had been fussing with. She thinks for a beat more. Not noticing the wistful look the blonde gives her. Leda wants to make sure she does not reveal more than she has to. That she doesn’t contradict any of the lies she has already told. “Flat harden earth and layed stone.” She glances into her eyes to check for any epiphanies. She sees only a glitter of wisdom. Leda gets the overwhelming sense that Seren already knows her secrets. “Mostly.” Leda says, slightly rushing to fill the silence. But the hush remains. Seren takes a few lazy breaths before a brazen smile exhumes her mouth.

 

“So I was right.” Not a question. Never a question.

 

“What do you mean?” Leda asks with nearly untraceable defensiveness. _I’m a good liar. It’s the only thing I have ever done. It’s the thing I am best at._ She is determined.

 

Seren gives off an air of boredom. “Oh. Well. The summation I made. An educated guess really. Based on your clothing and lack of experience with the true tribulations of life.” She gestures towards the animal between them still lying in the mud. A facetious accusation. “You’re soft.” Leda feels her certainty flicker at the allegation. _If you only knew how hard I have had to be._

 

Seren

She presses into the woman’s space sensing an opportunity to know more. To push the lies out into the open. The woman’s stone cold expression releases momentarily. Seren is never wrong. And that why she needs to know.

Not because she is actually curious.

 

Not because she is drawn to this woman. Except of course it is.

 

The brunette sets herself. Seren’s heart quickens at the look in her eyes. She is ready for the pressure. Able to match Seren blow for blow. “I am not soft. You know nothing about me.” And the traveler counters her move. There are only inches between them.

 

“Oh but I do.” Not flinching, Seren continues manipulating the truth out of her companion. Trying to strike a nerve. “You’ve lived a comfortable life. You’ve had cooks and servants. Hunters. You grew up inside castle walls. You do not know what it means to truly survive.” She fixes her gazes directly in to the stranger’s eyes and waits for her to process her words exactly. To know the meaning exactly before she says her next words.

 

Leda

Leda is indignant. _No, I’ve never wanted for food, but there is more to survival than staying fed._ The blonde continues. “Winter does not mean death for you.” Leda recognizes the triumphant look in her eyes. She has had that look many times herself.

 

The only thing Leda can do is glare. She swallows a deep hard knot in her throat. The woman cut to the quick of it. There was no denying that Leda had never had to struggle to survive. But she has struggled to live. Fought to be the person she is. Leda did not think like anyone else at court and they knew it. “Whatever you think you know about me, continue to think it. My secrets are just that. Mine. You may keep yours.” Seren was a king’s daughter as well. What right did she have to judge her?

 

Realizing that Seren would be just as unrelenting in her pursuit for information as she was for the animal beside them, Leda allows her a certain amount of victory and a curt smile, but not before she asserts her own wit. “I almost died the winter before last.” The smile unfolded to a full grin when the blonde’s brows furrowed denoting a sense of doubt. “I slipped on ice in the bailey and cracked my head on the ground. On my way back from a full hot breakfast, of course” They both soften their stance. And Leda is rewarded with a smile from the other. “For someone so beautiful, you lack a measured amount of grace.” Her blonde counterpart huffs out.

Leda swallows thickly once more.

 

Seren

She did not mean to say it. But the words had fled her mouth before she had the opportunity to stop them. _Why? What is happening to me?_

 

Her companion is looking away again. Putting distance between them. And for the first time Seren wonders if she feels it too. If this woman, who appears to be her match in many ways, is just as affected by their proximity as she is.

 

The light is soft through the trees. Creatures titter all about them. Her companion is back lit by the dying sun. Seren can’t help but revel in this strange attraction. _I must know her. I must know why._

**_You do know her. You do know why. Embrace it._ **

 

The traveler turns at that moment, a hard guise on her face which softens when she catches Seren staring at her. “Are you ready?” She says moving to put her backpack on and lifting her half of the deer an inch.

 

 

Seren shakes her head. “We’ll never make it back to the castle at this pace.” She then adds “No offense” when she notices the other woman’s frown, but when Seren tells her they’ll have to make camp tonight, the brunette lights up.

“Now _that_ I can do.” and she smiles.

“Oh really?” Seren asks incredulously

“Yes. How do you think I got this far north?”

“One clumsy step at a time?”

“You are impossible.” The other woman jabs jovially still alight with her new purpose. “Just because I grew up in a castle does not mean that I have never strayed from its walls.” Her eyes leave Seren as she scans the area around them, apparently looking for something very specific. Seren turns to start preparing the deer to be hung up in a tree for preservation. The stranger must have found what she was looking for because when Seren turns back she sees that she has already 50 yards ahead of them and is kneeling at what appears to be a small crop of rocks. She can see the other woman’s wide smile from that far away.

 

Leda

Leda waves for Seren to catch up with her, feeling truly confident again for the first time since she tumbled head long into all of this. Literally. The blonde just holds the rope up to communicate her intent with the deer. Leda points back at her to inquire whether help is needed or not. When Seren shakes her head no, Leda turns to point in the direction she had just been traveling.

 

She follows the crop of rocks until it elevates itself into a ridge. She rounds a corner and advances several paces when she finds that her suspicion is confirmed. A small cave is tucked into the ridge like a wide grin and Leda feels one grow on her own face.

 Joy. She feels joy. She feels something other than loneliness. She's still not sure if she likes it. But it's hard to deny that it feels good.

She goes to walk back around the bend to see if Seren has made any progress and nearly runs into the girl. She puts her arms up just in time and finds that they fit perfectly on the other woman’s shoulders. Bolstered by her rediscovered confidence, the contact, and just the other woman in general, Leda fastens a steady grip to the hunter’s wrist and pulls her to the cave. Just before they duck inside she gives her, her most playful wink.

 

Seren

Seren smiles before she even knows she is doing it. Seeing the woman in her element brings the vibrations she feels when they are together back to the forefront of her mind. She can no longer deny that she wants the truth for the sake of the truth. She wants to know everything about her. She can’t help herself.

“How did you know what to look for?” She asks truly interested. Seren didn’t even know this trick.

 

The brunette does not pause to answer likes she usually does. Pausing to find a lie. Instead, this time she seems to still be taking inventory of their surroundings and immediately responds. “I have my talents, too. Caves are easy to find if you know what to look for. I spent a lot of time hiding when I was younger. I did not get along well with most of the children my age.” And Seren knows this is the first honest thing the woman has said to her.

 

“That’s one.”

 

“Hmmm? One what?” The stranger says still not truly paying attention. Her hand is gilding over the cave wall, checking for stability.

 

“One secret.” Seren says holding back a laugh threatening to burst out.

 

The hand stops in mid air and green eyes whip to her before they narrow menacingly. “The beginning of one. And you will not have the end.” A small glimmer behind her beautiful gaze. Seren took it as a challenge. “You have your secrets, princess. And I have mine. Now go find some wood while I make a spark bed and set up the ring.” The brunette adds with a passive flick of the wrist.

 

Leda

Leda moves to exit the cave, but the blonde blocks her path. “What do you mean?” She inquires. “I have no secrets. I have been honest with you.”

Leda scoffs and straightens her spine. “You accuse me of not telling you the truth, but I owe you nothing. I’m passing through. On my way to somewhere else. Swapping stories with you serves no purpose. However, I do not abide hypocrisy. You cannot ask me to divulge who I am when you have not been exactly forthcoming yourself, _princess_?”

 

Leda sees the other woman’s eyes flicker with the realization that Leda has figured out who she is. Leda takes the opportunity to savor the small victory. She smirks before she reveals her insight. “Yes, I know who you are. You are not the only person who can make assumptions about another based on minor details. You have a blue lion crest on your back. Growing up in the southern court doesn’t just mean food and comfort. It means gossip and access to chronicles. I can read. I know what that crest means in these lands. You are Seren Leolin. The king of Scotland’s only daughter.”

 

The blonde shoots a weak smile. “Oh that.”

 

Seren

When the other woman accuses her of being dishonest, Seren is a little surprised. There is only one piece of information she had not been completely truthful about. _Does she know what I am feeling? Is she feeling it too?_ The only thing Seren is sure of is that she does not want to talk about it right now. She tries to tentatively investigate the other woman’s cause for accusation. “What do you mean? I have no secrets. I have been honest with you.”

 

While the stranger launches into a stunning display of deductive reasoning, Seren is simply caught up in how beautiful she looks when she is confident. Rigid cheekbones that soften enough to flow evenly into large, expressive eyes. Greener than the grass that grows on the hills over looking her castle. Her hair is brushed and tucked into a long cascading braid. As seren takes inventory of the other woman, she begins to feel the needling return. Just as sharply as when they’d first met. Seren feels an image emerging. A memory she doesn’t remember making. And in that moment she understands. All the evidence comes together. She is pulled out of her reverie by the word “Princess” just as Seren finally recognizes her partner’s face. She knows now beyond any doubt that their meeting is not coincidence. She has seen this face before. Many life times ago.

 

Seren smiles as her companion finishes her speech. Seren can’t help but reply with a benign, “Oh that.” She is grateful that the woman has only figured out her current identity. And not the many monikers they both have had over the ages.

 

**For all their ebb and flow across the eons, this encounter marked the very first time one of them recognized the significance of the other on their own. Perhaps it was fitting. It was fitting because the purpose of their meeting at this time was the most important since they reunited shortly after a meteor had crashed into the earth all those years ago, wiping out nearly every species on earth. A clean slate. A chance at rebirth.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooooooo sorry this took so long to get up. I've had a shit ton of stuff to do at work, then it was my birthday, then it officially became the holiday season so I've been busy on tumblr making holiday themed Clexa edits.
> 
> I've also been working on another project. It'll be up on tumblr soon. It's a fan non-fiction of sorts. Go check it out.
> 
> paintthebrain.tumblr.com


	4. Open and Closed Systems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Open system - a system that freely exchanges energy and matter with its surroundings. 
> 
> Closed system - a system that exchanges only energy with its surroundings, not matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you so much for taking the time to read this. :) I write these things for you! Hope you like it!
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr - paintthebrain

**An open system is free. Able to suck in and push out all the things it needs and those that it doesn’t. It pulls. Gravitational. Unending and wonton. Pushing for discovery and progress. On a constant mission of creation. Understanding. Discerning answers with little resources. Her name is Clarke, I was never told this, but I believe it to be truth. Clarke is like a feather in the wind. Responding to the environment and feeling it with every part of her being. Going anywhere. Giving anything.**

**She is exposed and compassionate.**

**A closed system is cautious. Reserved. Needing to hold back parts of itself for the sake of the system. So that the open system’s penchant for forward movement, truth, and discovery does not tumble over into chaos. Add an overpowering urge to protect those closest to them especially the open system champion – Clarke – and you have the perfect equal. The perfect balance. Her name is Lexa. I was never told this, but I believe it to be truth. She is like volcano with a caldera - coated in layers and caged in stone. Hiding the fiery commotion beneath. So much going on under the surface, but unable to translate it.**

**She is contained and vigilant.**

**This is the way Clarke and Lexa’s quantumly entangled system evolved. Perfectly formed by the universe and an age old process of trial and error. Much like evolution has pressed and formed humans into the dominant species on the planet. And when Homo sapiens began to walk the earth, naturally the champion souls were drawn to these vessels. People are built for progress and forward movement.**

**It is unique that Clarke recognizes Lexa – not just because it was the first, but because it is rare. This was new development in the champion system. Since this time there have only been 2 other occurences and always when great destruction or loss is happening on earth.**

__

_ Leda  _

Leda feels the fire warm her. Or maybe something else. She opens and closes her mouth several times. She wants to know why Seren is so non-chalant about her royal heritage when Leda thinks it probably is the heaviest part of her own self. She wants to know how Seren became such a skillful hunter. She wants to know Seren. But doesn’t know how to do that without having to reveal pieces of herself. She must maintain her ruse for the sake of her father’s mission. But she doesn’t want to give up this connection with Seren either.

 

She is so utterly enveloped in her feelings. And she feels so open. So vast. And she hates it. Except she doesn’t.

 

She is just so used to not feeling at all.

 

Seeking words that will pierce the silence that has permeated the space between them since they finished setting up camp, Leda inhales sharply. She needs to make this comfort she feels with a complete stranger make sense. Needing an exchange of information, but not yet willing to concede her secrets. She wants to give in. She wants to give into the near constant thrumming she feels with this woman. _Hours. Only hours._ She reminds herself. _It is not possible to feel this way_. Not after every interaction she has ever had with her father’s people has proven otherwise.

 

Her father. She feels an overwhelming sense of obligation to him. _That is why you are here._ She remembers the promise she made him. _To save us all._

                                   

**He had invited her to dinner. When she arrived dressed plainly in a tan bliause tied with golden cords at the waist, he greeted her with a kind smile and dismissed his guards. She had been waiting so patiently for weeks to have alone time with her father. She could see him across the courtyard with members of his council, his brow furrowed. Worried. So when he had sent a messenger to invite her to a private meeting in his quarters, her heart soared. Her father was the only person in this world that did not make her feel so alone.**

**He gestured for her to sit. The wooden chair screeched across the granite floor in protest. She eyed him sheepishly not wanting to perturb him in the slightest. She wanted to maintain his respect. He was the only one who did respect her. For whom she was. Some of the small folk treated her with respect, but it was out of fear of her stoicism and hard glares. Not for anything else.**

**The King’s smile lessened ever so slightly as she scooped her skirts and pushed them forward so that the chair could gingerly envelop her. “I have some grave news.” He whispered and Leda could barely hear him from across the long wooden table tinted red and carved with the intricate pedigrees of their house – a snarling bear. As high as her heart had soared when she received the invite, twice the distance did it lower itself until it felt like it was being ground into dust under her feet. That is why she was here, not because he wanted to see her, but because he needed something from her.**

**“Does this news have anything to do with why I am here?” She asked reproachfully, hoping he would deny it. Instead he sighed heavily and sunk further into his chair.**

**“Yes.” But when his eyes connected with his daughter lovingly, he confessed. “I also wanted to see you. Just you. Your independence and bravery gives me solace, Leda. I don’t want to ask this of you, but I know it has to be you.”**

**Feeling a little bit of relief, she allowed herself a small smile. “What would you have of me, Father?” He returned the smile affectionately.**

**“Word has come down from the north. As you know, there has been talk of absorbing Scotland into our empire. It is to protect them. To make them a part of our union with Gaul so that we might defend against more warfare from the east. We must stand united against those that would harm us. But the Scots do not see it that way. The stubborn barbarians refuse to meet with any enclaves. Pushing away any attempt to settle this peacefully. Our kingdoms must be united. As one.”**

**Leda listened intently, following his words with great care. She saw the concern that had been plaguing him for months, but when he said united it was worry that suddenly plagued her. “United.” She repeated to herself as she looked down at the carving on the table of her father’s crest - the bear’s mouth wide with a growl. Mimicking how she felt right then. But her face remained still and stoic. She teetered precariously in her seat. The flare of her sleeves falling softly to her elbows as she shifted her traditional braid from one shoulder to the other.**

**She knew what he was going to ask her. The lords at court had been making their presence known. Several of them had hinted that she was well into marrying age. Some had gone as far as to arrange a ‘chance’ meeting with their eligible sons in the stables or in the sparring yard. She was 8 th in line for the throne and an outcast in some ways, but that did not stop the Lords from flaunting their progeny around, hoping to make a match. She was the last unmarried child of the king. No matter how peculiar she might be in their eyes, she was still their only shot at marrying their sons into the royal house. She lifted her head and prepared a question she thought she knew the answer to.**

**“And what role do I play in this uniting, Father?” giving just a slight edge to her voice. Sharing just a small piece of that ferocity her father loved so much. Only for him.**

**“I need you to go and observe them. See if there are any who might shy away from war with us. If negotiations can be made. See what they are planning. Stand in the shadows or assimilate into their culture. Visit with them, but do not reveal your heritage. Let them know you. Earn their respect. Then we might be able to forge an alliance.” Leda let out a sigh of relief. The wisp of air was felt by her father all the way on the other side of the table. He laughed.**

**“You would not have me marry one of the barbarians then? Marriage would unite us very quickly and without argument.” Leda inquired and her father laughed a little harder.**

**“We will have them by consent or by conquest.” He paused to give her a second to meet his eyes as green as hers. “I know you, Leda. You are so strong in spirit. To ask you to marry…at all…It will kill you. It will kill the spirit that I love. I know you think no one understands you. That you are alone in this world, but I believe that this world was not made for you. You are more than me. More than these people that pushes you away because they are not able to comprehend all the complexities that make up who you are. And I swear on His High Holy Name, that you will find someone that understands the beauty in that. Better than even I do, but until then I will never force you to marry.”**

**“Thank you, father. For your kindness and understanding. May I know why it must be me? May I have time to think about it?”**

**“You may have a day and night to think this over.” He revealed no more. He looked a way and did not return her gaze. “You may go. Send word when you have made your decision.”**

**Leda nodded evenly and stood from her chair, it once again screeching through the silence. Her father returned his gaze to her and smiled once more as Leda moved away from the table towards the door.**

**Just as she was about to leave he called her name. She paused mid stride at his address.**

**“Mayhaps you will find a match in one of these barbarians anyway? They are all apparently as strong-willed and spirited as you.” The affection in his words made Leda yearn to stay, but with a soft rustle of her skirt she pushed through the door and left the room.**

**I was there, hiding in the energy of the candle light, when he had given her that unyielding choice to observe or assimilate. No other option. I knew she could not let him down. That her commitment to duty was all consuming, but I also saw the conflict in her. There were a few small missing pieces nipping at her sense of obligation. He had never said why it had to be her. And if the objective was to seal an alliance for defense against common enemies why would her father ever think conquest was an option? Why not just leave them to be conquered by their enemies and focus on defense of Britain?**

**I followed her from torch to torch. Combining my energies with them in an attempt to keep witness. She returned to her quarters and sunk into a chair covered in soft furs. Her expression was almost liquid in its ability to change from one of concentration to concern. Weighing all that applied to this decision.**

**Her thoughts turned to the rumors that began about the same time the look of worry began to etch itself on her father’s face. Word around the castle was that conquering Scotland had nothing to do with protecting against warfare. The land was rich with minerals and resources the king needed to incite warfare with other kingdoms in the east. The whispers confused her. Her father was a dutiful man, kind and affectionate to her, to his people. But the way the small folk spoke of him, it was as if he had a side that Leda knew nothing of. A side that was thirsty for prestige and lands for the sake of lands and in the name of Christ. Scotland, the rumors said, was the first step in conquering the rest of the known world.**

**Leda did not believe these rumors. The man she knew was delicate, kind, loving, the only person that sought to make her feel whole.**

**Her father loved her. He wanted to protect his people. He could not be the monster that some of his people implied.**

**I watched her throughout that night and the following day. Struggling with her decision. I was the mist in the forest when she walked to the cave that she frequented. Much like the cave she shares now with Seren. She sat in the darkness. She smudged a charcoal handprint on the cave wall to match the dozens and dozens she had left on previous visits. She saw the paintings of her reticence and nodded curtly. Having come to the same conclusion her father knew she would when he asked her to do this. When she returned to the castle she promptly found the messenger and handed him a sealed note. Inside she had simply written:**

**I will go north to save us all.**

**A few weeks passed and she made visits to her father and his council to prepare for her departure. The lies necessary. The route she would take. They provided her with a backpack filled with salt beef, maps, hard cheese, and a bedroll attached. All things a common traveler would have. They informed her of their war strategy and how many soldiers they had at their disposal should it come to that. If an attack from the enemy was imminent, she was to return home immediately.**

**On her final day, they met in the council chambers. They pressed her and pressed her. And she did not break. Solid as stone. That is who she has always been. So contained. Perhaps, that is why her father chose her. She had a way of keeping people out. When the council was satisfied, they ordered her to return for supper so they may give the final approval before she left the following morning. Everyone quickly dove into conversation with each other. Realizing Leda was still there the high councilman, Liepart, a Gaul Nobleman, gave her leave to say farewells outside the council chamber. But who would she say them to? She had no one save her father.**

**As she was leaving the great hall with its arched ceilings and ornate golden decorations, she stole a glance from her father. He knew she would not be returning for supper. He knew his daughter. And he knew that she would not be able to bare a goodbye. She was not one to share her emotions. So he nodded and smiled and prayed for her safe return. Safe and successful return.**

**She had spent a few weeks etching her way across the country side utilizing the skills she had spent years developing. Surviving off the salt beef, cheese, and whatever fruit she found. She enjoyed it. She felt free. With only the weight of her mission.**

**And then the universe’s plan was made visible to me when Leda found herself in the exact spot it needed her to be. Where she met Seren. And now their systems were becoming accustomed with each other. Their systems have an inherit push and pull. As most true matches do. Seren is an open system. Free to commune with anything and everything. And Leda is a closed system. Only able to share her true nature with Seren’s system. The champion system settles as the two souls become one, but their differences are still inflamed.**

**Now they sit inside their cave. Two systems entangled. One knows their significance and the other is holding rigidly to her current life. But they were made this way.**

**Night has come. There is only the crackle of the fire between them. But only I can see the fire responding to them. The fire feeding off their combined energies. I am within that fire. Watching. Waiting for Leda to come to grips with the one small snag in the system. Not so much a snag. More like a fail-safe. Duty.**

**The flame licks tendrils into the darkness at the cave mouth lulling both women deep into thought. Seren’s thoughts are cast towards here recent revelations. Leda is still anchored to her foolish notion of obligation to her father’s people.**

Leda

 

She sits next to Seren. Thinking of her father and her duty. Of how her father was the only one that had ever provided any sense of understanding and wholeness. Until now. _Hours. Only hours._ Observe or assimilate. Observe? Assimilate? Stay silent and watch this woman. Keeping an emotional distance. Or. Try to integrate with her, let her in so she might achieve her father’s goals.

 

But it was more than that. More than what her father wanted from her.

 

What her father had provided in terms of totality was nothing compared to what she felt with this stranger beside her. But she could not betray him for a woman she had known for less time than it takes to cross her castle from rampart to crest. Perhaps this woman felt this too. Felt this bond. And Leda could use this. She could use this to fulfill her promise. _Save my people. Duty. Obligation._

And then she feels a small release inside of her. A renewing. As if something is stirring, turning over in her chest causing a crack down her breastplate. And she feels like there are small streams of magma trying to get out from the deepest parts of her soul. _His people._

_They are not my people. And I was certainly never theirs._

They had never tried to save her. To help her. They made it hard for her to just be her. Casting her out of every conversation with silence and shifting eyes. Never once trying to make a connection or seek answers from her. No one understood her. That much was obviously. Even her brothers and sisters made no attempt to make her feel welcome. All she ever wanted was someone other than her father to say it was ok to exist. To tell her it didn’t have to be this difficult to be alive. She did not have to feel so alone.

 

And now she has it. Seren may have not said or done anything specific to make her feel less like an outcast. She just does. The ease she fills with this woman is everything she ever wanted. Seren provides the connection she has long sought so quickly and with only one attempt on her life. She chuckles, breaking the silence. Seren looks at her with veiled, but cautious eyes and Leda longs to explore this connection further but fears the consequence. _What if I can’t control this? What if I am flooded with feelings again?_

_What if? What if?_

_Would it be so bad to tell her some secrets?_ Another crack up her ribs. Another stream of lava inside her.

 

So she tried a tentative approach. She knew that Seren wanted information. So she attempted to give Seren what she wanted. Information. In the form of the lie her father and his council had contrived. She broke of a small piece of salt beef and offered it to the blonde.

 

Seren had turned her head back to the fire. Leda chose to look just above the flame. Staring into the darkness. She sighed and clicked her tongue against her teeth once and sank her teeth into the unforgiving sliver of meat.

 

“My mother was a lady at court. She had a husband that was respected and revered. When he died, she was distraught. She sought comfort in the arms of another man. She’d met him at the docks. A Grecian sailor. He pulled into port and pulled out. But not in time because 9 months later there I was.” She chanced a smile at the blonde who was still not looking at her. “He left her shortly after I was born. My mother still held her position at court thanks to the people’s love of her first husband.”

 

She tried another glance. The blonde was now poking a log with a stick adjusting its angle to let the fire breathe a little more. She gave no response. No inkling that she even heard a word Leda had said. But then the hunter’s eyes narrow and she thrusts the stick fully in the fire. She stands abruptly and faces away from Leda, the single word she says rebounds off the cave wall at Leda. “No.”

 

Leda is confused “What do you mean no?” Standing now, hands on her hips. “Isn’t this what you wanted? My secrets?”

 

“Lies are not secrets, Melia.” Seren says through gritted teeth. “Melia. That was your first lie. But this is the last time you try to deceive me. You will speak the truth or you will not speak at all.”

 

Caught off guard, Leda returns a rebuttal quickly, “I can’t do that.” B _ecause I don’t know how. Because I must lie to you. Observe. Assimilate. War. War. War._ Anyone who has ever learned who she really was had made her feel disgraced and ashamed. She had tried to reestablish communication. For a tiny moment she gave into her burgeoning curiosity. But it had backfired. And she now stands looking at the back side of the barbarian who had quickly put Leda in her place. _My place. Place. She made a place for me._

 

Her father gave her no restraints except to figure out the enemy’s intent and to not reveal her heritage in the process. She could give a few truths without betraying her father.

_Observe?_

_Would it be so bad?_

_Assimilate_?

 

She takes a deep breath. She misses talking to the blonde. Misses their banter no matter how conflicted it might make Leda feel. _At least I feel something_. So she steels herself as she allows herself to hope. _No, not so bad._

 

She stammers a bit as she tests the truth out on the first person in years. “I’m not good at sharing my secrets. Not just with you, but with anybody. Telling the truth and opening myself up has never led to anything good for me.” She pulls her hand up and adjusts the cords in her Jerkin, loosening them even further.

 

 _Could it really hurt?_ She has a mission. She needs the blonde to trust her. Needs her to make this alliance. But she also wants her. Needs this connection. An idea hits her.

 

An idea that will allow Leda the control she needs to feel safe and contained and Seren the information she craves. She softens and reaches for her. Just as Leda is about to brush Seren’s shoulders, she sees the blonde stiffen slightly and it causes Leda to feel a lump in her throat.

 

“Fine.” Acknowledging that truth is what she deserves and it is no longer just a ploy for her trust. Leda allows herself to open just a little, “You may ask me one question.”

 

Seren

 

After the fire had been built, Seren resolved herself to silence. She wanted to speak, but the truth that came to her kept coming. In waves. Past lives. Past existences. She saw great beasts wither in the destruction of a great stone from the sky. She saw a tiny, fur-covered creature sneak itself out of a tree, starting the evolution necessary for a sapient vessel to come to fruition. She saw herself take her first steps inside another more evolved human vessel, primitive tools in hand. She saw great triangular structures being built from sand. She saw the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. All these images berating her consciousness. But the thing that tugged at her the most was that the woman beside her had been there too. And their names had been different every time. Not Melia. Not Leda. But close. Not any of the names given to the vessel that held her now. But another name. She and her companion had one true name each. She did not know her own, but as the images came to her she got closer and closer to the truth.

 

She brought herself out of the flashes of long lost memories to the present. The cave is awash in reds, oranges, and golden highlights. The flames thrust their brightness into each of the crags in the wall. Outside she can see shadows of trees standing like sentinels in the dark. Seren notices the woman beside her shift slightly. She is offering her some salt beef, but Seren refuses. She is not ready to confront the woman. She feels exhausted. Like she has just lived all of her previously lives in the span of a few short moments. She is not quite ready to discover whether or not Leda knows what she knows. Seren is pretty sure she does not. The brunette woman retracts her hand and lifts the morsel to her own mouth. She idly chews on the tough meat. All this Seren watches from the corner of her eye. Refusing to speak. Unable to if she wanted to. But then the other woman speaks.

 

The stranger is reproachful in tone. Begging her to listen. She does, but the images and questions are still coming over her. How many times have they done this before? This dance. As they congealed. Hundreds? But Seren listens and Seren listens and when the woman ends the images stop and she feels anger wash over her again. Suddenly motivated by this emotion and feeling a sense of liveliness whip through her again, she shoves her stick into the fire and stands, looking away from the brunette. Pressing her glare into the harden cave wall. “No.” She says hearing the word reverberate back into herself.

 

Seren always has the right answer.

 

“What do you mean no?” Her companion complains as Seren hears her stand up behind her. Shifting the gravel under her boots.

 

“Lies are not secrets, Meliiia.” Seren hisses out through her teeth, putting an accent on the woman’s fake name. “Melia. That was your first lie. But this is the last time you lie to me. You will speak the truth or you will not speak at all.”

 

She can almost hear the brunette thinking. Or maybe that was a side effect of their….predicament. The other woman confesses that she is not good at telling the truth. That the truth has only ever come back to haunt her. Seren releases a little tension in her back and takes a small breath in. With it she brings the scent of the cave, damp earth and smoke. _I will have the truth. I will have the answer._

 

From behind her she feels a shift. In movement – as the other woman reaches for her. In energy – as the other woman finally gives in. “Fine.”

 

Melia the liar, the stranger will be a stranger no more. Will lie no more.

 

“You may ask one question.” as the brunette’s hand is close enough to touch.

 

Seeing the shadow of the woman’s approach on the cave wall instantly causes an idea to spark. She only needs one question to get the truth from this woman. The blonde turns swiftly with a huge grin.

 

Leda returns her smile tentatively. Sensing that this will probably not go as planned, swallows thickly, and nods curtly.

 

Seren pauses a moment to formulate the question exactly the way she needs it to be. Then without hesitation.

 

 **“** Do you know the allegory of the cave?”

 

The brunette appears dumbfounded “That’s your one question?”

 

Seren nods crisply with a smug smile. “Yes.”

 

Leda

There is a message in Seren’s eyes that implies “for now”. And Leda falls prey to that look. Seren is a huntress after all. How did Leda think this would end any different than the blonde’s graceful capture and destruction of any of her other quarry? Leda shakes her head with a soft smile. She knew she was doomed from the start.

 

And a part of Leda is terrified. But the rest of her is relieved.

 

And a part of her belongs to her Father. But the rest belongs to…

 

Leda sees Seren lift her hands, casting silhouettes on the cave wall. Leda sighs, feeling lighter than ever, but still cautious. _There is only one truth I cannot give._ And inside her chest she feels a river of magma over cracked bones. The caldera is broken. Flowing freely.

 

 **There it is. The closed system finally releasing. Opening for Clarke**.

 

She is feeling free. Feeling a little less contained. Swirling again as she did the moment she met Seren. Leda resigns herself to no more lies, no more half truths. And begins to answer the grinning woman’s inquiry. “Plato’s allegory?” The blonde confirms with a nod and returns her gaze to the shadows she is making on the wall. “I read it in a dusty old chronicle a long time ago, but the Greco-Roman empire is gone, Seren.”

 

As she releases the last syllable she realizes this is the first time she has said her name aloud. It feels wrong. Foreign. Leda feels like there is another name meant for the woman before her. And when Leda finally says this name, it will be a full embrace of the word. Her mouth will wrap fully around the weight of it. Melding it into a prayer. But for now she pushes out the threads of images coming forth and focuses on Seren’s hands. They are twisting into various animal shapes now. “What use do we have for pontifications from men long dead?”

 

“There is always use for knowledge. No matter what shape it comes in,” Seren says still focused on the shadow she’s creating – a bear’s head. She morphs the gloomy creature into a heart, the flames flickering and skewing the image left and right. Seren then shakes that shadowy symbol into a pointed shape and takes a step back towards the fire, revealing the image to be a great sword. Leda watches as Seren swings the shadow toward where Leda is standing. She almost flinches.

 

“Fine.” Leda blinks and concedes, “Regale me with it.” With brief rumination on how or why a barbarian might be educated on archaic philosophies, Leda lifts her eyes to look directly into Seren’s.

 

Seren has that smug smile on her face that Leda has come to find comfort in. _Hours. Only hours._

_Or maybe. Maybe lifetimes._

_Lifetimes._

 

Leda is at the precipice. Looking into those deep blue pools, Leda is seeing a thousand moments like this. Guiding her thoughts ever so closer to recognizing her long lost other.

 

**But before she can have the same epiphany her companion has had Seren walks over to her and places her hands on her shoulders. She actually does flinch this time, but leans into the touch. And is broken from her reverie only to be confronted by the heat and weight of the other woman’s hands.**

_The whole truth. I promise._

Seren

Seren feels revitalized. Touching the other woman has renewed her interest in seeking answers. She positions the stranger so that she is directly in between the cave wall and the fire and steps behind her. She hears a tiny whimper from the other woman as the pressure on her shoulder is released and sees her braid slip to her back as she turns her head to look at Seren.

 

Seren asks if she is ready. The brunette gives her a familiar stoic nod and Seren raises her hands to the cave wall. “Imagine you were born in this cave. Chained to the ground.” Seren begins to make shadows on the wall once more. “Imagine that this is all you know. This is your truth.” A bird made of shadows flaps up the cave wall. “You name this a bird. And that is what it is. Your whole life is silhouettes, outlines, merely replicas of what the world actually is, but you keep calling it a bird because that is all you have ever known.” She is stepping closer with every word. “You cannot know the truth because no one has ever told you any different.” She is flush with the woman now.

 

Seren slinks her arms under the other woman’s and raises them casting a unique shadow on the wall. She can hear the other woman’s breath hitch. And thinks, _she does feel this draw too._ Seren presses further into the woman and wraps her arms around the brunette’s waist. “Now imagine you freed yourself. You released your chain and were able to walk freely about the cave. What would happen then?”

 

The other woman does not speak. She just simply breathes softly into the embrace. Seren holds her there until she is ready.

 

Leda

Feeling this woman around her. It has to be the best thing she has ever experienced. She feels infinite. Unlimited. And she can not bring herself to speak just yet. _What would I see then?_ She repeats in her head. _Your eyes. Your beauty._

“That what I believe to be a bird is just a mirage. A manipulation. I would see that the truth that I have always known is a lie.” She feels the blonde nod into her shoulder.

 

“Yes” Seren says, “Perhaps you were already born free in this life. Maybe that is why you felt isolated from the children your age. Or why you believe what you think and feel will not be well-received by others. You were born knowing a truth they cannot possibly fathom.” Her words slink to Leda’s ears. Leda does not realize it but she has nearly collapsed into the woman. The huntress bearing most of their weight. And Leda thinks that perhaps Seren is right. That Seren has been right all along.

 

“Now imagine I freed you from the cave. We walked out of here together. What would you see then?”

 

Leda pauses. Milling the question around in her mind.

 

“I would see real birds. I would see trees. I would see that there is more to the truth than the one I can know myself. That perhaps it takes someone else to open us. To help us commit to the actual truth in the world. That not all people can come with me, but the ones that matter can.”

 

“Correct.” And Seren lips ghost over the flesh of Leda’s ear as she pulls away causing Leda to shudder. The blonde intertwines her fingers into Leda’s hands and pulls her to the cave mouth. Leda feels so open. So very open. Like the cave mouth. She is wide and wonting and full of truth. They stare into the dark, quiet and reverent. And Leda is satisfied by the silence this time.

 

Seren

Seren is the first to break the hush. To break the complete and total stillness, easiness between them. “I want to ask one more question.” As she leans her head into the other woman’s shoulder, she waits for an acknowledgement.

 

“One more.” comes the reply a beat later. Seren can hear the smile in her voice.

 

“What do you feel when you are with me?” Seren holds her breath. And for the first time since she the met the traveler, Seren’s confidence breaks and she begins to question herself. _Too far. I pushed her too far._

 

The other woman pulls from her and looks at her. Seren feels enveloped in her stare. But she sees the honesty in the traveler’s eyes when she says, “Confused.” She takes another breath and continues, “Like I’m falling apart.” She stutters over her next words, “Like I’m coming together.”

 

Seren nods. Completely overcome with a sensation of intimacy and knowing. She feels like she might break, but right now that would be just fine. Because she is whole now and has pieces to spare. She begins to move to set up their bed rolls when Leda speaks.

 

“How do you feel when you are with me?”

 

“I feel…I feel…” Seren uncharacteristically shuffles her feet nervously. She does not have an answer ready. And Leda looks so vulnerable. So unsteady in her new found ability to be candid instead of calculated. And that pushes Seren to comfort her and forget about her own fears.

 

Seren steps forward and takes both of Leda’s hands in hers. “When I was a child, my father was crowned king. On the day of the coronation there were many ceremonies. And things to attend. But they were quiet, morose affairs. It was an honor to be king, yes, but it also meant sacrifice. A king has a duty only to his people. I thought I was going to lose him to his Duty. So I ran away.”

 

Leda’s eyes flickered. “Where?’

 

“Not far. Just outside the castle walls. Soon I forgot why I was there. There were so many things to distract me. I was dazzled by the glowing insects all around me. There was one in particular. I thought I was destined for it. I was convinced that my truth was that bloody bug. But it wasn’t.”

 

“I felt very sad. For some reason when I returned to the castle, I still believed I was meant to hold that creature. I walked with my head cast down and despair in my heart to my room. I was just about to light the candles. But there was already a soft flicker in the room. I was right. I was destined for something. Just not the something I thought I was destined for. A truth is a truth is a truth.”

 

“Like Plato’s cave.” Leda says

 

“I feel like you are my truth.”

 

“Destiny?” Leda asks

 

“Destiny.” Seren affirms “I’m just not entirely sure what we are destined for yet.”

 

Seren witnesses a rising smile on her preordained partner’s lips and feels like she could take on the world.

 

Seren always has the right answer. She just never expected it to be a clumsy, hard-headed, beautiful woman. She turns from the cave mouth approaches her bed roll and flicks it open with a single movement. Leda moves to hers and does the same, just not as gracefully. They both laugh.

 

**You are destined to work together. Pushing and pulling molecules and manipulating your surroundings so that you might foster progress. You are cosmic coworkers designed to maintain the balance.**

**But there is a new part of the system. I can feel it thrumming and forming during this meeting. This novel element. One I should have seen coming. This is about more than just chemical attraction. Clarke recognizes Lexa because of a new evolution.**

 

**They each take separate places across the fire from each other. Seren interlaces her fingers and puts her hands behind her head. Staring confidently up and through the cave wall.**

 

“We’ll start back at first light.” Seren says turning to her companion, still feeling confident. She knows she shouldn’t push it, but she can’t help it, she was made that way, “May I ask you another question?”

 

The traveler sighs, “You don’t have to ask me that anymore. Just respect that there are some things I can not give you the answer to. Not yet.”

 

Seren chuckles. “I can respect that.” Fire dancing in her eyes. “I think.”

 

The other woman matches Seren’s intense put playful gaze. _She matches me. She always matches me. Always has._

 

Leda 

“Do your best.” Leda says after a moment of unadulterated gawking at the breath taking blonde. Leda allows a soft smile when she realizes she is still staring and hasn’t really answered the question. “What do you want to know?”

 

“Your name. Your given name.”

 

Leda freezes. But again sides with the truth. “I’m not exactly sure. Do you know what I mean?”

 

Her companion furrows her brow for a second, thinking. Then nods tentatively. “I think so.”

 

“But I was born Leda.” She says waiting for the blonde to realize Leda’s real deception.

 

The blonde rolls over to her side, “Leda?” Leda nods nervously. “Hmm. That’s a pretty common name for such a pretty girl.” Leda blushes as Seren rolls over, facing away.

“That’s two.”

 

“Two?” Leda says quietly

 

“Two secrets.”

 

“Seren.” A playful sigh. “I am fairly certain I have given you more than two. Are you really going to count them all?”

 

“Apparently not.” Seren releases a soft chuckle. “Goodnight, Leda.”

“Goodnight, Seren.” Leda hears the rustle of blankets and then a velvety whisper echoes through the cave.

 

“I’m really glad I met you.” Comes out as a nearly inaudible murmur from the other woman, but Leda feels it all around her.

 

“Me, too.” She closes her green eyes. Sleep takes her not long after.

 

Leda dreams. She dreams she is a star. A sun. A moon. The earth. She is the water in the river. She washes over the land taking pieces of the terrain with her. She is the green in the trees. Providing oxygen to the world. She is that oxygen. Two molecules eternally bonded together. She is the smallest part of a single molecule. She is what makes that molecule. Infinite. She is the universe itself and growing exponentially. She is wonton and free. She is whole. She is open.

 

As the dream dies down and wanes into a complete and total darkness. The single word Leda was ever meant say, born to say, escapes from her lips in the softest of whispers, but with the weight of a thousand lifetimes.

 

“Clarke.”

 

She is open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I treat just about everything I do like a research paper. Analyzing, critiquing and proposing thoughtful hypotheses. Sooooo these updates are taking way longer than expected. The good news is the rest of this part of the series is mapped out and there are words written for most of them. In short, I thank you so much for your patience (and please forgive my perfectionism).
> 
> xD
> 
> In the meantime: I'm going to take a page out of George R.R. Martin's book. Not literally. Plagiarism is the fucking worst. But this thing is a beast of a fan fic that incorporates a heady story with lots of connections and interlocking parts so I'm going to work on smaller projects in between posts for this. If you like Heart String Theory so far please let me know and I will try to keep the updates to every two weeks. I hope you are enjoying this. But for now I'm going to get out of science lab for a bit and play in the sunshine and rainbows with the adorkable Clexa.  
>  
> 
> Go check it out:  
> Lexa Woods and Clarke Griffin: A Relationship Anthology  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/5598712/chapters/12900286
> 
> Thank you so much for all your support thus far! You guys are the absolute best!


	5. UPDATE

HEART STRING THEORY IS CHANGING I'm starting over. Hello! I know. It’s been way to long. But I assure you I have been working diligently on this behind the scenes. The reason I haven’t posted is because I realized that this beast requires everything to be pretty much spelled out. Not just outlined. Part 1 of the series has been mapped out with at least minor fleshing out of every chapter since I started posting. But I realized I have to **work on all three parts** _simultaneously_ in order to make everything connect the way I want it to. PLUS I still have 2 other open fics. That’s the bad news. The good news is I am at about 68%. When I get to about 80/85% written I will start posting again. There are just so many connections that I am thinking out ahead of time (Plus now it is accidentally gonna be a fix it fic so I wanna do that justice). And if you have read any of my other fics you know I am kinda a perfectionist when I come to get getting details right.

I am going to be doing some restructuring of this entire work and changing the title just a bit. It will become Heart String Theory: The Science of Soul Mates. I haven’t decided if I am going to delete this version and post a whole new one or keep this version and still post a new version, but I don’t think be I will building off this one anymore. Any questions, concerns, comments come find me on tumblr and ask, comment, or concern away. ☺ Thank you guys for being so patient and awesome as fuck!

Kudos to you for forever, Joy


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